a new man in my life

Baby Jude is here !!

My emotions were all over the place this weekend. I am so ecstatic that my SIL and brother have a healthy baby boy. He is the cutest little squirt ever. Of course there were tinges of sadness over my recent miscarriage but mostly just happy thoughts. My brother has been amazing through my loss because unfortunately he knows exactly how I feel. They lost their first pregnancy at 8 weeks so it is a sadness that they both understand all to well.

I have started temping again and I am hoping my cycles become more regular. It makes trying to get pregnant a lot more difficult when you only get a chance every 5o days or so. My Dr. is still discussing using Clomid to regulate my ovulation but I am still a little nervous about it. Hopefully I will get knocked up this cycle and won't have to worry about it :)

a short one

This is going to be a short post.

I have been asked a million times how I am feeling and I hate saying "fine" so I usually say "Ok". To me this seems perfect. I am "Ok". I'm not "fine". I can safely say I am ok because I have come to terms that I am not pregnant anymore. I am ready to try again and I can tell someone that I had a m/c without crying. I think this is quite the achievement.

This weekend my SIL will be delivering her baby. I am so excited to meet my nephew but I know I will also feel heartache of wanting a baby of my own. I had thought that we would tell the rest of the family when everyone was together for Jude's birth. Hopefully my excitement for Jude will overshadow my own sadness.